December 2010 – Brr!

This should not be happening – Claude told me that it was impossible because of the Gulf Stream. The locals all said the same, but the sad fact is that Normandy is full of snow and frost. Last year, you may remember that three times we booked on Euro star to join the family in England for Christmas and 3 times Euro star was frozen up in the “Chunnel”. Mr Sarkozy was very cross and gave the head honcho of Euro star a right bollocking and we all assumed that that would be that. After all, as Sergeant MacFadyan used to say “Assumption is the mother of F---up!” And he was only a platoon sergeant. Still, we never did get to England for Christmas 2009 and had we tried to go to England in December 2010 we might not have got there either – you just never know, especially with all the “ Chauffage Mondial” as President Sarcozy likes to call it. Mind you, Albert, who runs the local scooter shop, says that Sarko promised to cut the burden of French paperwork – and you will have to take it from me that he has not.
Still and all, the Dragon Lady and I did get a Brittany ferry to Portsmouth at the beginning of December and I had no need of my seasick pills – the crossing being a flat calm.
I also did get my watch from Mr Collin as he had promised. Mr C is a man of many trips to (and contacts in) the Far East and he had promised to get me a Rolex watch at a ridiculous price. It works thus: (or so I am told). Many expensive watches are not – expensive – yes: - Swiss, well not exactly, them being made by highly skilled Chinese in Kowloon, or Shanghai. A Chinese businessman sets up a factory which makes watches. You can have an “A” watch, which will pass the vet as Swiss, or you can have a “AA” watch, which will pass any test of Swissness you may ask (at a price), or for slightly more you can get a “AAA” which even a snowbound Swiss watch-maker will pass as kosher – the difference being that the “AAA” copy retails at very considerable discount. It was one of these and at such a price that Mr Collin had undertaken to supply me and so, bless his heart, he did: it lies on the table beside me. It may not be a kosher Rolex, but it looks like a kosher Rolex and I would challenge you to spin it, always supposing that you got the chance, which I intend that you shall not have.
What about us wopping the Aussies at cricket then? A rotten shame I reckon, surely everybody knows that we (the English) are no longer allowed to kick the backsides of less clever nations – it is quite simply non P.C and the Aussies do not like us much anyway. But I would like to know what the Aussie skipper said to our bloke; but still I do not think either chap went to Eton, therefore nothing said by either is of the slightest importance. I just hope that nothing may make the English forget their manners to the extent of actually winning The Ashes. That would be very poor show, so come on our chaps – you may not have been to Eton either, but please just “play up and play the Game”....
It has been a bad week weather-wise and I have not left the house since last weekend. Now it is thawing like billy-o and Claude’s much vaunted weather system has put its’ hat on and it’s coming out to play.

So may I wish you all a Very Happy Christmas.